Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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