Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Randomize
