2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
