where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
