If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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