I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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