all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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