tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
