So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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