He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Randomize
