Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Can I color on your dick again?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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