T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
