Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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