new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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