remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I deserve this hangover.
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