He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
