i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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