We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
