Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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