Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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