Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
