Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I want to be your penis for a week.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
