He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
