I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
