I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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