I like my sex mixed with concussions.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
