At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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