I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
