GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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