Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
