Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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