ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Are we still banned from the library?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
