I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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