Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
