I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
