I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
