Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
We had to coat check the pizza.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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