He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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