so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
