This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
