Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
It's rum buckets o'clock
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
