even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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