Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
