11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
