In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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