big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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