I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
