After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
