haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
