I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
